To say that straight men are heterosexual is only to say that they engage in sex (fucking exclusively with the other sex, i.e., women). All or almost all of that which pertains to love, most straight men reserve exclusively for other men. The people whom they admire, respect, adore, revere, honor, whom they imitate, idolize, and form profound attachments to, whom they are willing to teach and from whom they are willing to learn, and whose respect, admiration, recognition, honor, reverence and love they desire… those are, overwhelmingly, other men. In their relations with women, what passes for respect is kindness, generosity or paternalism; what passes for honor is removal to the pedestal. From women they want devotion, service and sex. Heterosexual male culture is homoerotic; it is man-loving¹.

–Marilyn Frye, The Politics of Reality: Essays in Feminist Theory (1983)

1. I think this is largely still true. If you ask the average man to name a woman he admires or who he thinks is really awesome, he can’t think of a single one who is not his own mother. Which is insane because there are tons of amazing women out there, including my partner.